Google announces new Service: "Google Life"

After the first open test of Google's driverless car, the research station is proud to announce a new service in cooperation with our partner. It will be called: "Google Life". The new service solves the decision problem know as the "crash dilemma".

Suppose a driverless car is in the rare situation, where a crash is inevitable. It has the option to crash into your family van on the left or the motorcycle on the right. Morally, should it crash into the cyclist, or should it drive into van? The cyclist will almost certainly die, the family is likely to get away with minor injuries, but not guaranteed to. There is no time for human decision or too complicated an algorithm.

This is where Google Life comes in. The service makes the decision. Should there be an accident, your monthly donation to Google Life will be compared to that of the other people's sharing your misfortune. If their balance does not match your contribution, or their credit cards expired, we will not involve you in an accident. Of course your balance is safe with us and protected from manipulation. With your encrypted account, we make unauthorized accesses unlikely and will do our very best to restrict government incursions to a mandatory minimum. You can finally put your money to good use.

With Google Life, your survival in a car crash is no longer just indirectly linked to your fiscal situation. The class system that is health care, cannot warrant your survival. Goggle Life can! Why stack the odds, if you can cease to gamble altogether? You thought chance is a big part in an accident? Think again, think Google Life! If you donate now, you can participate in the euphemism program. With your first accident involving Google Life subscribers, you will get the other party's contribution if chosen a survivor.1 As a bonus, the Google Life App for your Apple iCar comes with an extra feature: It will tell you your destination before hand! As usual, your iCar will spare you the inconvenience of choosing where to go, but with Google Life, you'll know the place as you get in. Chose Google Life for your fully automated accident.

Did you know: Google Life offers even more: In case of your untimely demise, Google Life will tweet your death right before it happens. Make your horrible death a social media event! +1 if the car is burning.

Message: "Chris logged out of Google Life. Last thing that went through his head: The bumper!"
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1 Limited time only. Applies to accidents according to the Terms of Servitude Agreement.